Ham-Micks

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Guilt

Maw is feeling guilty about helping send Bow over the bridge. I guess your Moms have felt the same way? Maw is trying to get past this.

Bow was cremated the same day as his euthanasia, and Maw picked up a lovely wooden box the next day with "Bow" inscribed on it. And they gave her "The Bridge", and a lovely tribute to Bow's cremation. It was so quickly taken care of and very nicely done.

But she still feels guilty.

Luf, Us

19 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

maw we all love you honey. feel better, okay?

smiles, auntie bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Parker said...

Dear Maw,
I bet you know in your heart that Bow's quality of life was not what he would have wanted. You did the kindest thing a Maw can do. You helped him to be free of the body that no longer worked for him.
At the Bridge he is healthy.
He's still with you all, he's right there, in your heart.
Gentle purrs to you,
We love you,
Parker and Co.

Eric and Flynn said...

Maw, it's only natural to feel that way but you mustn't. You know in your heart that he wasn't going to get any better and would get worse. You did him the kindest thing and helped him to the Bridge with dignity.It takes strength to make the decision that you did. If you had waited it would have been for you, not Bow. Grieve over him, but know that you did the right thing for him, and keep your memories of happy times in your heart.
(((hugs)))

Cory said...

My mom said that it' always a very hard decision, but it's one of those things where you have to make that decision out of love...and only you really know the right time and what's best for Bow. Maw, we're sure you did the right thing at the right time for Bow.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Bow had a long and wonderful life with you. He is pain free now and is running over the bridge.

We have no doubt that Bow doesn't believe you have done anything to feel guilty over.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Yes, there is always the feeling of guilt, even though you know in your heart you did the right thing. But we suspect what humans are feeling at such a time is not so much guilt as the terrible pain of losing one of us and wanting us back.

But we know she will always miss Bow.

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

I can't say it better than any of the above comments.
((((hugs))))
-SSS & Mom

Daisy said...

Please do not feel guilty! We read this somewhere, but can't remember where: Better to make the decision two weeks too soon than even two hours too late. I am not in ANY way suggesting that you made the decision too soon. But that line comforted us when we had to make the sad decision for Pixie. It is impossible to know the exact right moment, so we can only do what we feel in our hearts is the right thing at the right time.

Sparing Bow from suffering was the kindest thing you could have done for him.

Lux said...

Dear Maw,

My mom says she knows exactly what you're feeling. After Mignon, who suffered with cancer, was sent to the Bridge in my mom's arms (1994), she felt so awful she called one of those animal communicators and was told Mini "wasn't ready to go." Can you imagine? These many years later she still grieves and wonders.

We think this must be the hardest decision a cat lover ever has to face. That's wonderful that you received Bow's beautiful box back so quickly - Mom had to wait for 2 weeks to get Mini's urn and then she slept with it in her arms.

So we know.

Just know that we care about you and are sending lots of brilliant white light to both you and Bow. The two of you will always be connected.

Love,
Luxie

meemsnyc said...

Maw, we know that Bow is smiling down on all of you!!

Purrs and Hugs
Sebastian, Yaffa and Dante

Furkidsmom said...

We understand how you feel. Mom has had the same feelings when she has had to help those who came before to the bridge. We know you could feel what Bow wanted and did the right thing. (((Hugs)))

Sniffie and the Florida Furkids

Sweet Praline said...

My mom has never had to make that decision, but she feels for you. Our special thoughts and purrayers are with you.

Derby said...

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to Maw and lots of purrs. Don't feel guilty, Bow had a long life which you shared for many years. He trusted you to make sure he had a good ending as well.

Kaz's Cats said...

Please don't feel guilty Maw. Your priority was always to always look out for Bow, just like you do for the other kitties. We believe that you made the right decision for Bow, 'cos you knew how poorly his body was doing, and you didn't want to prolong his suffering. He's running happy and free at the Bridge, watching over you guys.

{{{hugs}}}

Gypsy & Tasha & Karen (Mum)

The Island Cats said...

Oh Maw...our mom knows how you feel...she still wonders sometimes about the ones that came before us...did she do the right thing...but then you realize you DID do the the right thing...it was the hardest thing to do...Bow would thank you...he knows that you love him...

Angel said...

Mon felt guilyt when she had to send Wizard to the bridge. She still cries from time to time (like now). We know in our hearts that we made the right decissions, but it still hurts!

Charlemagne and Tamar said...

Maw,

Please don't feel guilty. You and Paw are so wonderful and you didn't want Bow to suffer any more. It's a hard thing to make that decision and you did the right thing.

Sending purrs of comfort,

Charlemagne and Tamar

JB's Big World said...

Oh my. My mom picked up PooPoo's little wooden box too, with her inscription on top, and a nice tribute too. Did you use Toothacres like us?
My mom totally understands the guilt. My mom is second guessing all she did for PooPoo, and is worried that the prozac medication had something to do with PooPoo's death. I think both your mom and mine need to realize they did what they thought was best and PooPoo and Bow will be forever grateful of the love and care both our moms gave them.
Purrs to your mom.
--JB

Mo said...

Daisy's mom already said exactly what we were thinking.
Being a parent of fur kids isn't always purrs and headbutts, there is the responsibility that goes along with it.
And you are a WONDERFUL, loving, responsible parent. I've said it before - you are an angel here on earth to take care of so many special needs poodins!
Please let your heart let go of any guilt, honey. Bow loved you very much, and I know you love him still. Rejoice in that love, and let it ease your heart.
your friend,
mo